An I-wish-I-was-a-priest experience.
Topic: CPE '04
Let me tell you a tale of a small yet affective affirmation of my vocation.
Tonight I accompanied Ben, our evening chaplain (3:00pm - 11:00pm shift), to the Surgical Intensive Care Unit (SICU--pronounced `sĭk-ū'), not to be confused with Medical ICU (MICU--pronounced `my-kū'), to be with a Catholic family when they visited their loved one in SICU. The patient, whom I will call Joachim Xavier, was unconscious and not doing well, so the visit was going to be more the family just being there with Joachim Xavier. Ben introduced me to the family and then stepped aside to let me minister to them in a way that he couldn't...he was not Catholic, which is one reason why he suggested I come. As I stood there at Joachim Xavier's bedside with the family opposite me, my mind was racing. I wanted to say something to get the conversation ball rolling, but what can you say. "How are y'all doing?" just doesn't work well in this situation. I mean the family present was comprised of four females and I didn't want forty sharp claws digging into my flesh for my insensitivity, because of course they weren't doing too well. After a period of silence, which I found uncomfortable, I fell back on a CPE Intern Chaplain's standard phrase: "Is there anything I can do for y'all?" This was the only thing my mind could find to say that was least likely to result in bodily harm to my person. The immediate response was: "Pray." I offered a prayer modeled after a couple of prayers for the dying and the family of the dying. Seeing the papally blessed rosary the daughter placed in Joachim Xavier's hand I offered to pray a rosary with the four ladies, of varied relation to Joachim Xavier. --I don't know if "papally" is a word...there is a red squiggly line under it as a hint. I may have made it up, but oh well, deal with it.--I had offered to do it in the waiting room after visiting time was over, because I figured they wanted some time alone with Joachim Xavier.
This is where the title comes in. Throughout the visit, I achingly desired to do more for them...to perform a more priestly function, i.e. Anointing of the Sick or give a priestly blessing. Knowing my place, I did what I could do and offered to continue to pray with them and to offer up a rosary with them. They made it known that praying the rosary was more desirable to them to do it right there in the presence of Joachim Xavier; so while other families visited with their loved ones we prayed a rosary without concern of being heard by others. The end of the rosary coincided with the end of family visiting time. I excused myself and left the bedside with the priestly desire remaining. I know that one day, God willing, I will be able to offer the sacraments, almost upon request, as well as priestly blessings and such.
Posted by Big Mike
at 12:01 AM CDT
Updated: Friday, 3 September 2004 5:25 PM CDT